Dear Parents...

This blog entry is going to be a little different. I teach ESL at a private high school and I am constantly in awe of these students, who come to the US, often by themselves, when they are 14 or 15 and speak very little English. Yet within a few years, they have become bilingual and have a degree from a rigorous college prep school, sometimes with a full IB diploma. If you don't know what that is, trust me. It is beyond impressive. I would like to take this opportunity to help others understand a little bit just how difficult this path is and how much we must respect them for their efforts. I know I couldn't have done it.

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Dear Parents,

You have given your children an amazing opportunity. You are sacrificing so much to help your children succeed in the future. I know many of you are working two jobs and driving the same car for years so you can provide this for your children. Forget about the money. That's not the biggest sacrifice by far. You are giving up precious time with your kids. These are years you can never get back. You are missing so many important moments in your children's lives. I know. My son is half way around the world in London. It hurts knowing that I may never see my son score a try in rugby or a goal in soccer. (Sorry, Kai, FOOTBALL.) But I could never take this opportunity away from him because it is such a rare gift.

But you and I, we must remember that we are doing this because it is our job to provide the very best we can for our kids. My son doesn't owe me anything except to do the same thing for his kids. Please take a moment and consider a few things that I've learned over the past years. I am their teacher and I can never have the same relationship with your kids that you do. However, I also know that my son's teachers, in their own different way care very, very much for him. And in my own way, I care for your children very, very much. (If any students are reading this, remember that I will never, ever admit this to your face. I will always give you more homework and I will push you as hard as I can. Your tearful eyes and your heartbreaking excuses mean nothing to me. Deal with it and do your Moodle work.)

Your kids are doing something that I think most people can't. When your child arrives in the US, they are in a new country that is probably very, very different from their own. They probably don't know anyone. They are probably living with complete strangers who may or may not be nice. They might have to get up at 4:30 to take the bus, by themselves, to school. When they arrive at school on the first day, they have to get used to an educational system that is completely different from anything they have ever done before. The skills and tricks they used to succeed at home don't work anymore. (How would you feel if you woke up tomorrow and someone said to you "You're not a truck driver anymore. Starting today, you are nurse"?)

AND they probably don't understand a word of what people are saying around them. (Well, they might understand their homeroom teacher when she says "Good morning." But after that, it probably sounds like a bunch of geese honking.) AND they are doing this in HIGH SCHOOL. High school is the place where the worst possible thing to be is new and different. High school can be the loneliest place in the world for people who speak the SAME language. High school is full of kids who make fun of accents and laugh at mistakes. Can you imagine how scared your child must have felt on their first day? (And then I walk into the room. That can't make things any better.) I don't know about you, but I'm forty-five. I doubt I could do this now.

Be patient with your kids. Learning a second language is one of the hardest things to do successfully. Think about this. In Japan, Taiwan and Korea, every child from the age of thirteen must study English for at least six years, plus maybe another four in college. Every man and woman under the age of 60 in your country had to do that. What percentage of them could sit down and write a simple email message about what they did yesterday? What percentage could stand in front of ten English speakers and describe what they had for lunch this afternoon? After six months in the US, your child can probably write a two page essay about American history and give a presentation on osmosis -- in front of twenty TEENAGERS.

Try this. Go to your local high school and ask a teacher if you can talk to a class for ten minutes. You can talk to them about anything you want. And you can use your first language. And you don't have to care what they think about you because you will never see them again. If you do, maybe you will understand ten percent of what your child is feeling.

Try this. I am issuing an open challenge to any parent. Take the first unit of my grammar class with me. Choose your own level: basic, intermediate or advanced. We can meet online using Skype. I will teach you just like I teach your kids. Same homework, same quizzes, same tests. See if you can get a higher grade than your child.

Does your child always study as hard as he can? When you were in high school, did you? Does your child do her homework at the last minute sometimes and forget to study for a quiz occasionally? I certainly did when I was in school. They are teenagers. They do stupid stuff. So did we. They rarely work as hard as they should. Neither did we. They do stuff that drives us crazy. Our parents have grey hair for a reason, too. And your kids will survive it, get into a college and have successful lives as adults. We did.

In fact, they will probably be more successful than us because they will be something that very few of us are. They will be truly bi-lingual, educated in their second language. And they will have all of this at 20. Your kids are so far ahead of the game, it's almost unfair.

Imagine this. During your first semester overseas, if your English is at an intermediate level, you will do well to get a C- in a mainstream course like biology or World History. By the end of the year, a B- would be great. After the second year, your grades will be creeping up some more, closer to the B+/A- range, but you will also have many more mainstream classes. However, by the end of your third or fourth year, you should be doing about as well as average native speakers.

Most people who go overseas to study have to wait until they are in college. They go through the same process, only it's a lot harder because they are older. Meanwhile, your child will be ready to excel from the first day.

I remember one of the more frustrating students I have had. He played too much. He studied too little. His grammar and writing ability was one of the lowest in the class. He loved the girls and hated the books. If I had been his father, I would've been so angry about how much money I was wasting. However, he graduated from high school and was accepted at Gonzaga University, which is a very good school. At the end of his freshman year, he came back and visited. I almost didn't recognize him. His English was SO GOOD. His grammar was excellent. And he was doing very well in school. And he was excited about it and enjoying the academics. He taught me a very, very valuable lesson about judging teenagers.

Your child is running a long, long marathon. Very few people try it and even fewer finish. Don't get too upset if your child is running a little slow at first. Cheer them on. Be proud that they are even running in the race. With your love and support (and a lot of your money, unfortunately), they will finish that race.

There are two paddling races in Hawaii called the Na Wahine o Ke Kai (for women) and the Molokai Hoe (for men). It is a race from Moloka'i to O'ahu through some of the roughest water in the world. There are always a couple of elite crews that make it look easy. It isn't. But even the paddlers in the boat that finishes an hour behind the winners can walk tall when they reach the shore because they know that only a tiny percentage of people in the world can do what they just did. They are elite.

And your children will be too. Because you are giving them the chance. Cheer their success and forgive a few failures. They'll be fine, even if it doesn't seem like it right away.

What's the Dif? (Vol. 4): Also, Too and As well

Recently I've been hearing people use as well as more and more, but it usually sounds weird when they use it. Personally, I don't use it much. Then Is Haryuni from Indonesia asked about the difference between also, too and as well. It took me a while to really puzzle through the differences, but I think I've finally got something. I challenge those of you who are not as lazy as I am to actually do some research and try to prove me wrong. But until you can, here's my answer.

All three of them are very similar to the coordinating conjunction and. They are used to put two pieces of equal information together, either in one sentence or two. However, their usage is different.

Also

This one is pretty easy. If you have a long statement connected by and* and you want to break it up into two shorter sentences, just change and to also. However, don't forget to change the comma to a period.

• John goes to the gym every day after work, and he swims three days a week before work.
• John goes to the gym every day after work. He also swims three days a week before work.

By dividing the information into two sentences with also, it makes each piece more important by giving each idea its own sentence. (Imagine the difference between two sisters sharing the same room or each having their own room.) You can put also before the subject he, but I think it is better between the subject and main verb.**

Too

Looking at the above example, you could replace also with too, but too always has to go at the end and you should put a comma in front.

• John goes to the gym every day after work. He swims three days a week before work, too.

Grammatically it's correct, but I'm not a big fan. It seems very conversational and I like also much better. Generally when I use too, I am agreeing with a statement that someone else has made. For example:

• A: I've been working out at the YMCA lately.
• B: Really? I work out at the YMCA, too.

Too is used to agree with positive statements. In a sentence with a negative word like not or never, then you would use either.

• A: I haven't had time to go to the gym recently.
• B: I haven't been to the gym in a few weeks, either.

As a general rule, too is used in conversations and is a good response to show that you understand or agree with the other person. I don't recommend it in formal situations.

As well (as)

Just like too, you could finish the original example sentence with as well.

• John goes to the gym every day after work. He swims three days a week before work as well.

There are two reasons to use as well in this situation, I think. First, it is more formal than also or too. Also, as well makes the second statement stronger. With also, the two things are equally important. With as well, going to the gym is good, and swimming three times a day is even better.

A second use of as well is if you are adding something new to a list. Again, it is more common in conversation than in writing. For example:

• A: We are going to work on the project on Monday evening.
• B: Since it's a very important project, why don't we plan to meet on Tuesday as well?

The second speaker is suggesting a second meeting to add to the first. If it's necessary to repeat the original information, then you would use the phrase as well as***, which is basically the same as and.

• B: Why don't we plan to meet on Tuesday as well as Monday.

The most common misuse of as well (as) is when the speaker simply replaces and. For example:

• A: How many brothers and sisters do you have?
• B: I have one brother as well as two sisters.

I say this is wrong because (1) both the brother and the sisters are equally important and (2) both pieces of information are new. As well does work well in the following situation.

• A: Do you have a dog?
• B: Yes. We have a golden retriever. We have two cats as well.

Golden retriever answers the original question and then the speaker adds more information about cats, which was not a part of the original question. You could also use too, but and doesn't work. Compare it to this dialogue.

• A: Do you have any pets?
• B: Yes. We have a dog as well as two cats.

I don't like it and think this is wrong. I think and is much better because both dog and cats answer the original question and both pieces of information are new.

To summarize: And and also are almost identical except that and is a conjunction and also is an adverb. And is used inside one sentence and also is used at the beginning of a second sentence. Too and as well, on the other hand, emphasize the second piece of information over the first. Also, they are used to add a new piece of information to the original list.

I hope this helps and again, I invite you to do the research I haven't and prove me wrong. You do the work and I get the credit. Win-win for me!

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*Remember that and has two uses. The first is like a plus sign (+), where you are putting two things together in a list. For example:

• I have two children, a son and a daughter.
• 1 son + 1 daughter = two children

The other use of and is to put two actions or events into chronological order (first, second, third). In this case, and means then.

• I put on my hat and coat. Then I left my apartment.
• First, I put on my hat and coat. Second, I left my apartment.

**If there is a helping verb before the main verb, then also goes between the helping verb and the main verb. Also, if the main verb is a form of the "be" verb, then also goes AFTER the "be" verb.

• Rie is a beautiful dancer. She can also play the piano and sing.
• Rie is a beautiful dancer. She is also an accomplished pianist and singer.

***Don't confuse this as well as with the other that means as good as.

• I don't swim as well as my brother.
• I am not as good as my brother in the water.

What's the Dif? (Vol. 3): When and While

The basis of all human activity is time. It's time to wake up. It's time to go to school. My dad: "Next time, I'm bringing the wet washrag." (That one always got my behind out of bed. The feeling of a sopping wet washcloth in the face in the middle of winter will last a lifetime.) It seems like we never have enough time to do everything we want. Time can pass too slowly and too quickly at the same time. "I can't wait for Friday." "I can't believe Christmas is here already." (Or if you are a little kid: "It'll never be Christmas." Remember those days?)

Time is the basis for all verb tenses. Every day means you must use the simple present. Yesterday means the simple past. But since yesterday means the present perfect. Change the time, change the verb tense. However, two of the most common conjunctions can be very confusing. Today's blog will try to demystify the ever-popular when and while.

These two are quite possibly the most aggravating conjunctions in English. They are so simple, but they are so easy to mix up.

When is a very general idea. Most often it is used to give less important background information. A clause with when can often be replaced with a simple prepositional phrase. For example:

• I got contact lenses when I was in seventh grade.
• I got contact lenses in 1978. (Don't do the math!)

• Farmers go to bed when the sun goes down.
• Farmers go to bed at sundown.

There also seems to be a connection to both verb tense and the type of action verb used in the main clause, but I need to test this hypothesis. Let me know if these statements make sense to you. First, the verbs in a statement with when are most commonly used in the simple tense. For example:

• My father got his driver's license when he was fourteen. (True story.)
• I will call you when I arrive at the airport.
• I usually drink a cup of coffee when I get sleepy in the afternoon.

Can you use the continuous tense with any of these sentences? "I was learning"? "I will be calling you"? "I am usually drinking a cup of coffee"? Not in this lifetime anyway. My second hypothesis is that very often (usually?) one or both verbs used in a when statement are instant actions*.

• The children opened their Christmas presents when they woke up.
• The students left the room when the bell rang.
• I closed my eyes when I jumped into the pool.

Finally, when can most often be replaced by the following words, which all mean a very specific moment in time.

• when I woke up = this morning / at 6:30
• when I get to the airport = as soon as I get to the airport
• when I was born = in 1965 (Again, don't do the math.)
• when I get my driver's license = if I get my driver's license (They are slightly different but close enough for rock 'n roll.)

While, on the other hand, is much more specific. The most common usage of while is to emphasize two actions happening at the same time. Either one person is doing two things at once or two people are working simultaneously. For example:

• I always listen to NPR's Morning Edition while I drive to work.
• Last night, my wife washed the dishes while I gave Skyler a bath.
• My father and I were sitting on the back porch drinking lemonade while my mother finished mowing the lawn. (It's kind of a funny story, actually.)

Also, while is used to show an interruption**, or when one action stops because of another action.

• The fire alarm rang while the students were taking a test.
• I fell asleep while I was watching the movie.
• A motorcycle caught on fire while I was working one day. (Another true story.)

Maybe the best test for whether while is correct or not is the during test. The following phrases are all correct.

• while I drive to work = during my morning commute
• while I gave Skyler a bath = during Skyler's bath
• while they were taking a test = during the test
• while I was watching the movie = during the movie
• while I was working = during my shift

But the following pairs are very wrong.

• when they woke up = during they woke up
• when the bell rang = during the bell rang

It is true that sometimes either word is ok. For example, imagine a student who spends her junior year abroad.

• She learned to speak Spanish when she lived in Madrid.
• She learned to speak Spanish in 2004.

However, it would also be correct to say:

• She learned to speak Spanish while she lived in Madrid.
• She learned to speak Spanish during her stay in Madrid.

I can get turned around by these two as quickly as anyone else. I can't pretend that this is a definitive explanation. However, it seems to work. To summarize:

• When is used to establish a specific point in time.
• When can be replaced by words like in, on, at, if or as soon as.
• Statements with when often have two instant action verbs.

• While is used to show two actions happening at the same time.
• While is used to show an interruption.
• While can only be replaced by during.
• Statements with while usually have two continuous action verbs.

Maybe this isn't so difficult. Maybe it's as simple as this.

• when = in/on/at
• while = during

Try it out and let me know if it works.

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*An instant action is an action that finishes very quickly, sometimes in less than a second. How long can you sneeze? How long does one clap continue? How long does it take to leave a room or close a window or turn off the lights? (Yes, I realize that clap, in this case, is a noun.)

The opposite of instant actions are continuous actions. People sleep for hours. People can study something for years. Marathoners can run for hours.

**Actually, when can also be used to show an interruption, but the sentence structures are opposite. When you use while, the continuing action is in the adverb clause with while and the main clause is the interruption.

• The fire alarm rang while the students were taking a test.
• I fell asleep while I was watching the movie.
• A motorcycle caught on fire while I was working one day.

If you change the conjunction to when, the continuing action becomes the main clause and the interruption is in the adverb clause with when. Usually the adverb suddenly is also added.

• The students were taking a test when, suddenly, the fire alarm rang.
• I was watching a movie when I fell asleep.
• I was working one day when a motorcycle suddenly caught on fire.