The Passive Voice: Stop Hatin' Ya'll

For years, all my English teachers, especially in writing class, told me the same thing. "Never use the passive voice." When I used the grammar checker* on WordPerfect**, it always told me to change the passive voice. The most famous book on writing and style, Strunk and White, has taught several generations of writers that the passive voice is bad. Well, today, I'm going to stand up proud and say it loud. I LOVE THE PASSIVE VOICE!!!!!

Not really, but the passive voice is not nearly as bad as everyone thinks it is and I use it fairly often, and, I think, fairly well. But remember that the passive voice is like ice cream. (Huh?) Ice cream is delicious and it's ok to eat ice cream sometimes. However, eating ice cream all the time isn't healthy. The passive voice is ok to use as long as you use it correctly and not too much.

How do you make the passive voice?

There are two conditions that have to be met. First, your sentence must have an action verb. Sometimes it is ok to make a passive sentence with a non-action verb, like own, but it's not very common. I can't think of any example in which you can make the passive voice with a linking verb like feel.

Second, your sentence must have an object, direct or indirect. There are three basic patterns that can be changed to the passive voice.

1. SVO - My grandmother made the biscuits.
2. SVOO - My grandmother gave us some fresh-baked cookies.
3. SVOC - My grandmother's cooking made us so happy.

Once you are sure you can change a sentence to the passive voice, it's actually pretty easy. Look at the following sentence.

• My grandmother made the biscuits.

First, find the direct object and make that the subject of the new sentence.

• The biscuits...

Next, add the correct form of the be verb. In this case, made is in the simple past tense, so you need was or were. The new subject is biscuits, which is plural (they), so the correct form is were. Then, change the main verb to the past participle form. Fortunately, in this case it's the same.

• The biscuits were made...

Finally, the subject of the original sentence is connected to the end with the preposition by.

• The biscuits were made by my grandmother.

In both of theses sentences, active and passive, my grandmother is called the agent. (No, my grandmother was not James Bond.) The agent is the person or thing that does the action. Be careful, though, because usually you don't need to add the agent, but I'll explain that later. There are three things you need to remember about changing to the passive voice.

1. Don't change or add anything (except the be verb) to the original verb. If the original verb is in the present tense, like plans, then the passive voice must also be in the present tense, is planned. If there is a helping verb, like can, in the active voice, then you must also have can in the passive voice. For example:

• should do / should be done
• will make / will be made
• has taken / has been taken
• is starting / is being started

2. Don't change anything outside of the SVO clause. Don't move an adverb, don't change prepositions, nothing.

• Yesterday during lunch, someone dropped a tray in the cafeteria.
• Yesterday during lunch, a tray was dropped in the cafeteria.

3. If something, like an adjective, a prepositional phrase or an adjective clause is connected to the object, it must move to the front of the passive sentence with the object.

• We bought the television in the living room a couple of weeks ago.
• The television in the living room was bought a couple of weeks ago.

When Can You Use the Passive Voice?

Whether you can or should use the passive voice (assuming it's an SVO clause with an action verb) depends completely on the subject, which is also known as the agent.  There are four basic situations when you can and probably want to use the passive voice.


1.  The agent is the most important thing.


This follows the basic rule of English "Put the most important information LAST."  This means that, for whatever reason, the person who did the action is more important than everything else.  You must use the prepositional phrase with by at the end.  For example:

1. In Star Wars, Harrison Ford played the role of Han Solo.
2. In Star Wars, the role of Han Solo was played by Harrison Ford.

In the first sentence, the most important information is probably Han Solo, but in the second sentence, absolutely, the most important information is Harrison Ford.  However, you must be careful with this rule.  If the agent is necessary but not extra, EXTRA important, then stick with the active voice.

1. My son watches Sesame Street every afternoon.
2. Sesame Street is watched by my son every afternoon.  (??????????)

Obviously my son is important.  I would have sold him to the circus a long time ago if he wasn't.  However, he is not nearly as important as he thinks he is.  The important information in this case is Sesame Street, so the active voice is the best choice.

2.  The agent is unknown.

I used to live in a condominium that hired window washers to clean the outside windows.  I really appreciated the work that they did but I have no idea what their names were.  And I'm sure they didn't care what my name was either.

1. On Monday, someone is going to wash the outside windows of the building.
2. On Monday, the outside windows of the building are going to be washed.

In this case, you would NOT add the prepositional phrase with by.  Skip the agent altogether.

3.  The agent is understood.

Star Wars is the greatest movie of all time.  The day Star Wars came out in the theater should be an international holiday.  If you don't know that the genius who created, wrote, directed and produced Star Wars was George Lucas, you should be ashamed of yourself.  Therefore, any time I talk about Star Wars, I don't need to tell you who was responsible.

1. George Lucas (duh) released Star Wars on May 25, 1977.
2. Star Wars was released on May 25, 1977.

Again, you would not add the agent with by at the end of the sentence.

4.  You don't want to say who did it?

Occasionally as a teacher, I have to yell at my students.  (I kind of enjoy it, but I save it for special occasions.)  For example, if I catch someone cheating on a test, I don't want to embarrass that person publicly, but I need to talk to my students about the evils of cheating.  I can avoid telling them who it was by using the passive voice.

1. Somebody hid a cheat sheet in their pencil case.
2. A cheat cheat was hidden in a pencil case.

Obviously you are not going to add the agent with by at the end of this sentence.  This is also very useful when you write research papers.  I remember my teachers always telling me "Never write in the first person."  That means never use I or we.  However, what happens when you are describing your experiment and things that you did?  Easy.  Use the passive voice.

1. We divided the subjects into three groups.  (Oops.  I can't use "we.")
2. The subjects were divided into three groups.

Notice that of the four cases in which the passive voice can be used THREE of them do NOT include the agent with by.  That means 75% of the time, putting the person at the end is a BAD IDEA.  In other words, as a general rule, don't add the agent unless the agent is EXTRA, EXTRA important.

Of course the passive voice is more complicated than this and there are some pretty weird structures with the passive voice.  However, these are the basics and with some practice and some concentration, you will be able to use the passive voice pretty well pretty quickly.

If anyone wants some exercises for the passive voice, email me at my Gmail account and I can send you some stuff that will help you practice.

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*My advice is to turn your grammar checker off, especially if you are a non-native speaker.  Grammar checkers don't know how to correct non-native speaker errors, so very often the suggestions they make are bad.

**In my opinion, WordPerfect is by far the best word processor available.  It is far superior to Microsoft Word or Pages for Macs.  Unfortunately WordPerfect only works on Windows machines.  There is no Mac version.  The Student/Teacher version costs less than $100.

Dear Parents...

This blog entry is going to be a little different. I teach ESL at a private high school and I am constantly in awe of these students, who come to the US, often by themselves, when they are 14 or 15 and speak very little English. Yet within a few years, they have become bilingual and have a degree from a rigorous college prep school, sometimes with a full IB diploma. If you don't know what that is, trust me. It is beyond impressive. I would like to take this opportunity to help others understand a little bit just how difficult this path is and how much we must respect them for their efforts. I know I couldn't have done it.

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Dear Parents,

You have given your children an amazing opportunity. You are sacrificing so much to help your children succeed in the future. I know many of you are working two jobs and driving the same car for years so you can provide this for your children. Forget about the money. That's not the biggest sacrifice by far. You are giving up precious time with your kids. These are years you can never get back. You are missing so many important moments in your children's lives. I know. My son is half way around the world in London. It hurts knowing that I may never see my son score a try in rugby or a goal in soccer. (Sorry, Kai, FOOTBALL.) But I could never take this opportunity away from him because it is such a rare gift.

But you and I, we must remember that we are doing this because it is our job to provide the very best we can for our kids. My son doesn't owe me anything except to do the same thing for his kids. Please take a moment and consider a few things that I've learned over the past years. I am their teacher and I can never have the same relationship with your kids that you do. However, I also know that my son's teachers, in their own different way care very, very much for him. And in my own way, I care for your children very, very much. (If any students are reading this, remember that I will never, ever admit this to your face. I will always give you more homework and I will push you as hard as I can. Your tearful eyes and your heartbreaking excuses mean nothing to me. Deal with it and do your Moodle work.)

Your kids are doing something that I think most people can't. When your child arrives in the US, they are in a new country that is probably very, very different from their own. They probably don't know anyone. They are probably living with complete strangers who may or may not be nice. They might have to get up at 4:30 to take the bus, by themselves, to school. When they arrive at school on the first day, they have to get used to an educational system that is completely different from anything they have ever done before. The skills and tricks they used to succeed at home don't work anymore. (How would you feel if you woke up tomorrow and someone said to you "You're not a truck driver anymore. Starting today, you are nurse"?)

AND they probably don't understand a word of what people are saying around them. (Well, they might understand their homeroom teacher when she says "Good morning." But after that, it probably sounds like a bunch of geese honking.) AND they are doing this in HIGH SCHOOL. High school is the place where the worst possible thing to be is new and different. High school can be the loneliest place in the world for people who speak the SAME language. High school is full of kids who make fun of accents and laugh at mistakes. Can you imagine how scared your child must have felt on their first day? (And then I walk into the room. That can't make things any better.) I don't know about you, but I'm forty-five. I doubt I could do this now.

Be patient with your kids. Learning a second language is one of the hardest things to do successfully. Think about this. In Japan, Taiwan and Korea, every child from the age of thirteen must study English for at least six years, plus maybe another four in college. Every man and woman under the age of 60 in your country had to do that. What percentage of them could sit down and write a simple email message about what they did yesterday? What percentage could stand in front of ten English speakers and describe what they had for lunch this afternoon? After six months in the US, your child can probably write a two page essay about American history and give a presentation on osmosis -- in front of twenty TEENAGERS.

Try this. Go to your local high school and ask a teacher if you can talk to a class for ten minutes. You can talk to them about anything you want. And you can use your first language. And you don't have to care what they think about you because you will never see them again. If you do, maybe you will understand ten percent of what your child is feeling.

Try this. I am issuing an open challenge to any parent. Take the first unit of my grammar class with me. Choose your own level: basic, intermediate or advanced. We can meet online using Skype. I will teach you just like I teach your kids. Same homework, same quizzes, same tests. See if you can get a higher grade than your child.

Does your child always study as hard as he can? When you were in high school, did you? Does your child do her homework at the last minute sometimes and forget to study for a quiz occasionally? I certainly did when I was in school. They are teenagers. They do stupid stuff. So did we. They rarely work as hard as they should. Neither did we. They do stuff that drives us crazy. Our parents have grey hair for a reason, too. And your kids will survive it, get into a college and have successful lives as adults. We did.

In fact, they will probably be more successful than us because they will be something that very few of us are. They will be truly bi-lingual, educated in their second language. And they will have all of this at 20. Your kids are so far ahead of the game, it's almost unfair.

Imagine this. During your first semester overseas, if your English is at an intermediate level, you will do well to get a C- in a mainstream course like biology or World History. By the end of the year, a B- would be great. After the second year, your grades will be creeping up some more, closer to the B+/A- range, but you will also have many more mainstream classes. However, by the end of your third or fourth year, you should be doing about as well as average native speakers.

Most people who go overseas to study have to wait until they are in college. They go through the same process, only it's a lot harder because they are older. Meanwhile, your child will be ready to excel from the first day.

I remember one of the more frustrating students I have had. He played too much. He studied too little. His grammar and writing ability was one of the lowest in the class. He loved the girls and hated the books. If I had been his father, I would've been so angry about how much money I was wasting. However, he graduated from high school and was accepted at Gonzaga University, which is a very good school. At the end of his freshman year, he came back and visited. I almost didn't recognize him. His English was SO GOOD. His grammar was excellent. And he was doing very well in school. And he was excited about it and enjoying the academics. He taught me a very, very valuable lesson about judging teenagers.

Your child is running a long, long marathon. Very few people try it and even fewer finish. Don't get too upset if your child is running a little slow at first. Cheer them on. Be proud that they are even running in the race. With your love and support (and a lot of your money, unfortunately), they will finish that race.

There are two paddling races in Hawaii called the Na Wahine o Ke Kai (for women) and the Molokai Hoe (for men). It is a race from Moloka'i to O'ahu through some of the roughest water in the world. There are always a couple of elite crews that make it look easy. It isn't. But even the paddlers in the boat that finishes an hour behind the winners can walk tall when they reach the shore because they know that only a tiny percentage of people in the world can do what they just did. They are elite.

And your children will be too. Because you are giving them the chance. Cheer their success and forgive a few failures. They'll be fine, even if it doesn't seem like it right away.

What's the Dif? (Vol. 4): Also, Too and As well

Recently I've been hearing people use as well as more and more, but it usually sounds weird when they use it. Personally, I don't use it much. Then Is Haryuni from Indonesia asked about the difference between also, too and as well. It took me a while to really puzzle through the differences, but I think I've finally got something. I challenge those of you who are not as lazy as I am to actually do some research and try to prove me wrong. But until you can, here's my answer.

All three of them are very similar to the coordinating conjunction and. They are used to put two pieces of equal information together, either in one sentence or two. However, their usage is different.

Also

This one is pretty easy. If you have a long statement connected by and* and you want to break it up into two shorter sentences, just change and to also. However, don't forget to change the comma to a period.

• John goes to the gym every day after work, and he swims three days a week before work.
• John goes to the gym every day after work. He also swims three days a week before work.

By dividing the information into two sentences with also, it makes each piece more important by giving each idea its own sentence. (Imagine the difference between two sisters sharing the same room or each having their own room.) You can put also before the subject he, but I think it is better between the subject and main verb.**

Too

Looking at the above example, you could replace also with too, but too always has to go at the end and you should put a comma in front.

• John goes to the gym every day after work. He swims three days a week before work, too.

Grammatically it's correct, but I'm not a big fan. It seems very conversational and I like also much better. Generally when I use too, I am agreeing with a statement that someone else has made. For example:

• A: I've been working out at the YMCA lately.
• B: Really? I work out at the YMCA, too.

Too is used to agree with positive statements. In a sentence with a negative word like not or never, then you would use either.

• A: I haven't had time to go to the gym recently.
• B: I haven't been to the gym in a few weeks, either.

As a general rule, too is used in conversations and is a good response to show that you understand or agree with the other person. I don't recommend it in formal situations.

As well (as)

Just like too, you could finish the original example sentence with as well.

• John goes to the gym every day after work. He swims three days a week before work as well.

There are two reasons to use as well in this situation, I think. First, it is more formal than also or too. Also, as well makes the second statement stronger. With also, the two things are equally important. With as well, going to the gym is good, and swimming three times a day is even better.

A second use of as well is if you are adding something new to a list. Again, it is more common in conversation than in writing. For example:

• A: We are going to work on the project on Monday evening.
• B: Since it's a very important project, why don't we plan to meet on Tuesday as well?

The second speaker is suggesting a second meeting to add to the first. If it's necessary to repeat the original information, then you would use the phrase as well as***, which is basically the same as and.

• B: Why don't we plan to meet on Tuesday as well as Monday.

The most common misuse of as well (as) is when the speaker simply replaces and. For example:

• A: How many brothers and sisters do you have?
• B: I have one brother as well as two sisters.

I say this is wrong because (1) both the brother and the sisters are equally important and (2) both pieces of information are new. As well does work well in the following situation.

• A: Do you have a dog?
• B: Yes. We have a golden retriever. We have two cats as well.

Golden retriever answers the original question and then the speaker adds more information about cats, which was not a part of the original question. You could also use too, but and doesn't work. Compare it to this dialogue.

• A: Do you have any pets?
• B: Yes. We have a dog as well as two cats.

I don't like it and think this is wrong. I think and is much better because both dog and cats answer the original question and both pieces of information are new.

To summarize: And and also are almost identical except that and is a conjunction and also is an adverb. And is used inside one sentence and also is used at the beginning of a second sentence. Too and as well, on the other hand, emphasize the second piece of information over the first. Also, they are used to add a new piece of information to the original list.

I hope this helps and again, I invite you to do the research I haven't and prove me wrong. You do the work and I get the credit. Win-win for me!

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*Remember that and has two uses. The first is like a plus sign (+), where you are putting two things together in a list. For example:

• I have two children, a son and a daughter.
• 1 son + 1 daughter = two children

The other use of and is to put two actions or events into chronological order (first, second, third). In this case, and means then.

• I put on my hat and coat. Then I left my apartment.
• First, I put on my hat and coat. Second, I left my apartment.

**If there is a helping verb before the main verb, then also goes between the helping verb and the main verb. Also, if the main verb is a form of the "be" verb, then also goes AFTER the "be" verb.

• Rie is a beautiful dancer. She can also play the piano and sing.
• Rie is a beautiful dancer. She is also an accomplished pianist and singer.

***Don't confuse this as well as with the other that means as good as.

• I don't swim as well as my brother.
• I am not as good as my brother in the water.

What's the Dif? (Vol. 3): When and While

The basis of all human activity is time. It's time to wake up. It's time to go to school. My dad: "Next time, I'm bringing the wet washrag." (That one always got my behind out of bed. The feeling of a sopping wet washcloth in the face in the middle of winter will last a lifetime.) It seems like we never have enough time to do everything we want. Time can pass too slowly and too quickly at the same time. "I can't wait for Friday." "I can't believe Christmas is here already." (Or if you are a little kid: "It'll never be Christmas." Remember those days?)

Time is the basis for all verb tenses. Every day means you must use the simple present. Yesterday means the simple past. But since yesterday means the present perfect. Change the time, change the verb tense. However, two of the most common conjunctions can be very confusing. Today's blog will try to demystify the ever-popular when and while.

These two are quite possibly the most aggravating conjunctions in English. They are so simple, but they are so easy to mix up.

When is a very general idea. Most often it is used to give less important background information. A clause with when can often be replaced with a simple prepositional phrase. For example:

• I got contact lenses when I was in seventh grade.
• I got contact lenses in 1978. (Don't do the math!)

• Farmers go to bed when the sun goes down.
• Farmers go to bed at sundown.

There also seems to be a connection to both verb tense and the type of action verb used in the main clause, but I need to test this hypothesis. Let me know if these statements make sense to you. First, the verbs in a statement with when are most commonly used in the simple tense. For example:

• My father got his driver's license when he was fourteen. (True story.)
• I will call you when I arrive at the airport.
• I usually drink a cup of coffee when I get sleepy in the afternoon.

Can you use the continuous tense with any of these sentences? "I was learning"? "I will be calling you"? "I am usually drinking a cup of coffee"? Not in this lifetime anyway. My second hypothesis is that very often (usually?) one or both verbs used in a when statement are instant actions*.

• The children opened their Christmas presents when they woke up.
• The students left the room when the bell rang.
• I closed my eyes when I jumped into the pool.

Finally, when can most often be replaced by the following words, which all mean a very specific moment in time.

• when I woke up = this morning / at 6:30
• when I get to the airport = as soon as I get to the airport
• when I was born = in 1965 (Again, don't do the math.)
• when I get my driver's license = if I get my driver's license (They are slightly different but close enough for rock 'n roll.)

While, on the other hand, is much more specific. The most common usage of while is to emphasize two actions happening at the same time. Either one person is doing two things at once or two people are working simultaneously. For example:

• I always listen to NPR's Morning Edition while I drive to work.
• Last night, my wife washed the dishes while I gave Skyler a bath.
• My father and I were sitting on the back porch drinking lemonade while my mother finished mowing the lawn. (It's kind of a funny story, actually.)

Also, while is used to show an interruption**, or when one action stops because of another action.

• The fire alarm rang while the students were taking a test.
• I fell asleep while I was watching the movie.
• A motorcycle caught on fire while I was working one day. (Another true story.)

Maybe the best test for whether while is correct or not is the during test. The following phrases are all correct.

• while I drive to work = during my morning commute
• while I gave Skyler a bath = during Skyler's bath
• while they were taking a test = during the test
• while I was watching the movie = during the movie
• while I was working = during my shift

But the following pairs are very wrong.

• when they woke up = during they woke up
• when the bell rang = during the bell rang

It is true that sometimes either word is ok. For example, imagine a student who spends her junior year abroad.

• She learned to speak Spanish when she lived in Madrid.
• She learned to speak Spanish in 2004.

However, it would also be correct to say:

• She learned to speak Spanish while she lived in Madrid.
• She learned to speak Spanish during her stay in Madrid.

I can get turned around by these two as quickly as anyone else. I can't pretend that this is a definitive explanation. However, it seems to work. To summarize:

• When is used to establish a specific point in time.
• When can be replaced by words like in, on, at, if or as soon as.
• Statements with when often have two instant action verbs.

• While is used to show two actions happening at the same time.
• While is used to show an interruption.
• While can only be replaced by during.
• Statements with while usually have two continuous action verbs.

Maybe this isn't so difficult. Maybe it's as simple as this.

• when = in/on/at
• while = during

Try it out and let me know if it works.

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*An instant action is an action that finishes very quickly, sometimes in less than a second. How long can you sneeze? How long does one clap continue? How long does it take to leave a room or close a window or turn off the lights? (Yes, I realize that clap, in this case, is a noun.)

The opposite of instant actions are continuous actions. People sleep for hours. People can study something for years. Marathoners can run for hours.

**Actually, when can also be used to show an interruption, but the sentence structures are opposite. When you use while, the continuing action is in the adverb clause with while and the main clause is the interruption.

• The fire alarm rang while the students were taking a test.
• I fell asleep while I was watching the movie.
• A motorcycle caught on fire while I was working one day.

If you change the conjunction to when, the continuing action becomes the main clause and the interruption is in the adverb clause with when. Usually the adverb suddenly is also added.

• The students were taking a test when, suddenly, the fire alarm rang.
• I was watching a movie when I fell asleep.
• I was working one day when a motorcycle suddenly caught on fire.

What's the Dif? (Vol. 2): Like to do or Like doing

Gerunds* and infinitives** and how to use them may be one of the most confusing and frustrating parts of English for non-native speakers. (My students HATE the gerunds and infinitives quizzes I give them, which is why I give them so often.) More and more, even native speakers are making mistakes, but not for the same reason. (Non-native speakers have to work really hard to learn English well enough to make these mistakes. Non-native speakers have to be extra lazy to make them.)

The most common place to find gerunds and infinitives in English is in the object position, after the main verb. For example:

• I enjoy reading historical novels.
• We plan to go snorkeling next weekend.
• I promised to buy a bigger diamond for my wife on our fifth anniversary.
• Doctors recommend sleeping at least seven hours a night.

With each of these main verbs, you have no choice. Enjoy and recommend must be followed by a gerund. Plan and promise must be followed by an infinitive***.

There is another group of verbs that can be followed by either the gerund or the infinitive form of the verb. For example:

• It started to rain an hour ago. / It started raining an hour ago.
• I will continue to study Spanish next year / I will continue studying Spanish next year.
• Japanese people prefer to take baths at night. / Americans prefer taking showers in the morning.

In all of these examples, either sentence is ok and both sentences have the same meaning. However, sometimes either the gerund or the infinitive is better depending on the grammatical structure of the rest of the sentence. For example:

• It is starting to rain.
• It is starting raining.

To me, the first choice is ok but the second choice is bad because the gerund-gerund construction sounds weird. In the sentence The children are practicing writing in cursive, the gerund-gerund construction is unavoidable (sort of) because practice can only be followed by a gerund and you must use practicing because it is the continuous tense. However, with starting, you have a choice, so don't put two gerunds together. (I would eliminate writing to avoid the weird construction. The children are practicing cursive.) Here is another example of a weird structure you should try to avoid if possible.

• It is going to start to rain in a minute.
• It is going to start raining in a minute.

In this case, the sentence with to rain is a poor choice because the main verb, start, is also following to. (However, to start is not an infinitive. Is going to is a helping verb that is basically the same as will.) The second choice, to start raining, is much better. A good general rule of thumb is "avoid repetition whenever possible." (Unless, of course, there's a good reason to be repetitive. Ain't English fun?)

There is a small group of verbs that can be followed by either a gerund or an infinitive, but the meaning changes depending on which you use. This is the main point of the blog. (Finally, huh?) I will explain each one in more detail.

Like to do or Like doing?

In reality, the difference between the two is small enough that I generally say "Don't worry about it." You can use either form and nobody would really care. However, if you really want to be accurate, here's the difference.

• I really like to swim in the ocean.
• I really like swimming in the ocean.

In this case, the second choice, swimming, is the better choice because in this situation, like means enjoy. The chance to swim in the ocean is something I get excited about. Since enjoy must be followed by a gerund, it is better to use the gerund form when you are talking about a fun activity. On the other hand:

• Most Americans like to take a shower in the morning.
• Most Americans like taking a shower in the morning.

In this situation, the first choice, to take, is better because like means prefer. I don't jump up and down in anticipation of my morning shower. I don't go to bed dreaming about it. However, if you give me a choice, taking a shower in the morning is preferred. I just don't feel right if I don't.

If you were in my class taking a test, I wouldn't care either way. I don't think about this when I write or speak. In the immortal words of Gus Portokalos in My Big, Fat, Greek Wedding, "There you go." The next pairs, on the other hand, you do need to pay attention to.

Remember/Forget to do or Remember/Forget doing?

One of these means I'm going to get into trouble. The other means I have had a great experience.

• I forgot to do my homework.
• I will never forget watching the sun rise from the top of Mt. Fuji.

If there was something important you were supposed to do, but it slipped your mind, you forgot to do it. When my wife reminds me to go to the store, she will say "Don't forget to buy diapers for Skyler." When I get home, she will ask me "Did you remember to call your mother on her birthday?" The infinitive is usually used in everyday situations. Forgot to do is usually preceded by "Oops."

On the other hand, I've been very lucky to have had many wonderful experiences in my life. For example:

• I remember riding an elephant through the hill country of northern Thailand.
• I will never forget shaking Jimmy Carter's hand or meeting my wife for the first time.

The older I get, the more I look back on my life using gerunds.

Try to do or Try doing?

If I want to get ahead on my homework by finishing my research paper a week early, I would say:

• I will try to finish my research paper by Monday.

If my friend wants me to call him on Friday evening, but I think I might be out late, I would say to him:

• I will try to call you tonight.

Try to do means you want to do something, but you might not be able to. Try to do means you are not sure you will be able to keep a promise. Tried to do in the past tense is very often misused by non-native speakers. For example, a second-language learner might say:

• I tried to get a part-time job last summer.

What they mean to say is that they did get a part-time job and worked all summer. However, because of the verb tried, what they really say is they failed. They couldn't get a job. What they should say is:

• I got a part-time job last summer.

Short, sweet and factual. On the contrary, if there is something you've always thought about doing, but have never done, you would say:

• I would love to try skydiving.

Or if you did something for the first time on a really fun trip, you could say:

• I tried snowboarding for the first time in New Zealand.

Try doing is used for experiments, for something you are doing for the first time. If you are cooking a difficult dish for the first time, you will try making it. If you want to exercise your brain, you should try learning a foreign language. Success or failure depends on a gerund or an infinitive.

Stop to do or Stop doing?

The following sentences describe something I would say to my students during a test, something I did because I got old and something my mother said to me quite often when I was young.

• Stop talking!
• I stopped playing rugby.
• Stop hitting your brother!

When an activity is finished, you stop doing it. The following sentences describe what happened while I was driving to the North Shore, something that happened while I was writing this blog and something my father had to do frequently while we were driving from Pennsylvania to Texas. (Good Lord, those were long trips.)

• I stopped to admire the gigantic waves.
• I stopped to change a stinky diaper.
• He stopped to yell at my brother and me because we were fighting.

Stop to do explains why you interrupted what you were doing in the first place. Why did you stop?

Regret to do or Regret doing?

Everyone has done stupid things that they wish they hadn't done. Unfortunately, I have probably done more stupid things than most people. For example:

• I regret not asking Denise Brown out when I was in tenth grade. (Man, I was an idiot.)
• I regret spending so much money in Roppongi on weekends.
• I regret buying a laser disk player.

I just hope my wife never regrets marrying me. Regret to do is much less common and is usually used with the verbs inform or tell. It is used when you have to tell someone bad news.

• I regret to inform you that your credit card was declined.
• I regret to tell you that you will have to repeat this course in summer school.

Just like hitting a backhand or making a free-throw, it will take some practice and some concentration, and you will fail sometimes, but over time, you will fail less and less and you will learn to use these patterns correctly.

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*To make a gerund you add ~ing to the base form of a main verb. Sometimes you need to double the last consonant (CVC), and sometimes you need to drop the final "e".

• fishing / jumping / thinking
• running / getting / planning
• taking / smiling / biting

**To make an infinitive you simply put to in front of the base form of the verb.

• to fish / to run / to smile

***I have put together a list of what I think are the most common and most useful verbs that are followed by either a gerund or infinitive with notes about usage and meaning. If you would like a copy, email me with the message "Can I have the gerunds and infinitives list?" and I will send you an attached copy. (If anybody knows how to attach a PDF file to either this blog or Facebook, please let me know.)

Chunky Language (It's Delicious with Milk)

Grammar is all about connections. What words go with what other words? Where does one phrase end and the next begin? How can you have does is in the middle of a sentence? It's all about the chunks.

As far as I know, I invented the term Chunky Language. This refers to the natural grouping of words into phrases and clauses in English. A chunk is any group of two or more words that naturally go together. Every chunk has an anchor word, meaning the main word in the chunk. For example, a warm sunny day is one chunk anchored on the noun day. This particular chunk would be called a noun phrase.

Another simple example is We went to the beach. The second chunk is anchored on the first word to, which is a preposition, so this kind of chunk would be called a prepositional phrase. The first chunk, on the other hand, is anchored by the word went. Since this is the main verb and we is the subject of went, then this chunk is a clause. A slightly weird chunk would be something like three weeks ago. The anchor word, ago, is an adverb*, which might seem a little unusual, although it is common.

What's the difference between a clause and a phrase? The answer is quite simple. A clause has a subject and a main verb, a phrase does not. For example, the sentence I left my book in my locker has two chunks. The first chunk is a clause because it has a subject (I) and a verb (left). The object (book) is also a part of the chunk. The second chunk is a prepositional phrase.

The basic chunks are pretty easy to figure out. For example, read the following sentence out-loud with a clear pause between the first and second chunks.

• I took my dog for a walk in the park.

It is obvious that this sounds extremely weird and that the following would be the correct way to chunk up** the sentence.

• I took my dog for a walk in the park.

This is a nice, neat sentence with three chunks: one SVO clause and two prepositional phrases. Students rarely mis-chunk a sentence like this. (I love inventing new words.) The biggest problem students seem to have is knowing when one chunk stops and the next begins. Their chunks are too long and they consistently run through the STOP SIGNS.

What are the STOP SIGNS for chunks in English? Basically there are five: commas, conjunctions, prepositions, postpositions*** and connecting pronouns.

Commas: Commas are easy to identify and the majority of commas are stop signs. Most commas divide information. For example:

• Yesterday, it rained all day.
• On Wednesdays, school finishes at 2:15.
• Barack Obama, who became the 45th President last year, was educated in Hawaii.

The information before or between the commas is separated from the rest of the sentence. Therefore, the chunk stops at the comma. (Don't forget that a chunk must have two or more words, so in the first sentence, yesterday is not a part of any chunk. I'll elaborate more in my next blog entry.)

However, not all commas are stop signs. Sometimes commas can be connectors, specifically in lists. Look at the following examples.

• We took a long, relaxing walk in the park.
• My mother, father, brother and I drove from Pennsylvania to Seattle in a tiny Volkswagen Rabbit.

In these examples, the commas are replacing the conjunction and. The original chunks would be long and relaxing and my mother and my father and my brother and I.

Prepositions: The simple prepositions, like in, on or by, are easy to see. They begin the chunk and the chunk ends with a noun or a pronoun. However, some pronouns are trickier to identify. Chunking up a sentence can help. For example:

• A bunch of fans were shirtless in spite of the freezing temperatures.
• The girl who sits in front of me in math class is really nice.

Look at two specific parts and decide which sounds better when you say it out-loud. Don't forget to exaggerate the pause in the middle.

• in spite of the freezing temperatures / in spite of the freezing temperatures
• in front of me / in front of me

Each one sounds much, much better as one chunk. Therefore, in spite of and in front of are both what I call phrasal prepositions.

Conjunctions: There are two types of conjunctions: coordinating and subordinating. The difference is pretty important, but I'll save that for another blog. For chunks, conjunctions like because, when and as long as are always stop signs that divide two clauses. For example:

• I will call you as soon as I wake up tomorrow morning.
• The Cowboys lost the game even though they didn't give up an offensive touchdown.
• Santa Clause delivered the presents while the children were sleeping.

Notice that the conjunctions as soon as, even though and while are included in the chunk. This will be important later.

Pronouns: Again, there are two kinds of connecting pronouns. The first group is called relative pronouns and they include which, that, who and whom. They connect adjective clauses to nouns. For example:

• My iPad, which I bought in July, has become my most valuable productivity tool.
• Anyone whose first language is English should consider themselves very fortunate.

A new chunk begins with the connecting pronoun. Each sentence actually has only two chunks because the first word(s) are connected the main verbs of the main clauses.

The other kind of connecting pronoun is actually called a noun clause marker, but I still call them pronouns. (See a blog soon to be written on The Grammar Geek Sez about this.) I don't have a name for them yet. If you have a good suggestion, I'm all ears. These are the words that, obviously, connect noun clauses to the rest of the sentence. For example:

• I didn't know that you had lived in Japan for so long.
• She hasn't told me if she has decided what college she is going to attend.

I'm extra proud of the second sentence because it contains two noun clauses.

There are a lot of little tricks and exceptions and things to remember that I will elaborate on in a second installment of Chunky Language. But for now, this is an overview of the first step in your quest to develop Grammar Vision. This can be very subjective and there are usually multiple correct answers depending on whether you think something should be one larger chunk or two smaller chunks, especially with clauses. The best rule I can give you is the Three Bears Rule. A chunk should be neither too long nor too short. It should be just right. (And this rule probably doesn't help you at all. Sorry.)

Practice makes perfect. For second-language learners, this will get easier over time with practice. It is an art, not a science. If you find and interesting sentence, copy it and send it to me via my Facebook group Mr. K's Grammar Page. We'll see what happens.

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*I have seen words like ago referred to as postpositions, which makes sense to me. A PREposition is an anchor word that goes at the beginning of a chunk. A POSTposition is an anchor word that goes at the end of a chunk. Other postpositions would include early (ten minutes early) and adjectives like long (ten feet long) or thick (three millimeters thick).

**Chunk up is another original term that means to divide a sentence into chunks.